Tuesday 15th August 2000
I’ve been thinking about my father’s proposition about being the licensee of his new public house and I think that it is in fact a stellar idea. University is just one big waste of time. Who needs it? Not me. While everyone else is living a grubby stinky little student life, watching babies crawling on the ceiling, wearing their skiddy pants inside out in order to get an extra days wear, I’ll be in sunny Torquay making good money and building my middle class business empire. In years from now I’m sure I will probably meet most of these students, when ordering a take away at the nearest drive-thru.
Dad said he would rather me have my name above the door so to give me a leg up in life. I don’t blame him, he probably realizes that since I have a sixth form education I will have the superior ability to run a business. Miller said he wouldn’t be stupid enough to put his name to anything Dad’s doing, but he’s just jealous that I was asked and not him. It’s obvious he wouldn’t take it seriously, while Dad recognizes that I will turn it into the very best public house in the town. In fact Dad shouldn’t of just ‘asked’ me, he should of dropped to his knees and bloody well BEGGED me to help him run his business because I’m gonna make us all rich!
So I’m off to Torquay at the end of the week. I’ll help the family get this pub up and running and once it is a massive success by New Years, I will go and get myself another bar. I’ll be the next Richard Branson. He started off with a music shop above a shoe store and I’ll start my empire off with public houses. I’ve already started to make some notes:
1. Make it the best establishment in the southwest
2. Make the family respectable, and law abiding!
3. Invite celebrities to stay at the hotel over the pub and drink in our bar for free. We’ll make the money back because people will come in from all around the country to see’em at our place. I could also invite a TV crew to film me, Jacob Cox youngest licensee in the country, run my bar better than most landlords twice my age.
4. Ban karaoke forever. We will be a class venue. Karaoke is stupid and we will have a finer type of people in our premise
5. Open up more venues in a few months when The Royal Ship is making a fortune. Maybe think up a brand name like Virgin. Cox Shop?
6. I will not drink!!!
7. DO NOT LET MILLER SLEEP WITH THE STAFF. In fact only hire ugly staff so Miller does not try to bed them and cause internal staffing problems.
Anyway, that’s all I can think of at the moment. I’ll keep updates as often as possible